Feeling so insecure nowwww )))):  all the negative thoughts and inferiority is starting to sink in! argh times 100. sigh

On a side note, escorting was pretty awesome today. Sci-fi guys are fun-loving,but pretty touchy hah.
back to uss at 8am tmr, whoo hoo.

Today i collected my first 3 rolls of holga film! Ugh some were spoilt! but its okay, at least i captured some of korea's splendour, just that winter is really dull like the colours and all. but enjoy nonetheless! meeting pepper tmr! :D
 

  the ski slopes were really sky high in real life. pity we couldnt go right on top! ):
 

   korean boy perched at edge of cliff, with the splendour of mt sorak's peaks towering in the background

 a double exposure shot of the chair lift at  everland and some flora

  an early morning shopping on the last day of korea



HAHA alright. thanks for viewing! have a great weeek people.!

miss you mellie ((:

2009- what a year. When i said 2009 will be a greater year than 2008, i was both right and wrong. It was the most exciting but most excruciating year ever. most amount of tears shed this year. The highs were HIGH but the lows were super low. Ive never had such a year before. But through it all, i can confidently say that God has humbled me so much more this year, and he has given me some crazy moulding of my character and of my faith. No words can describe 2009 for me, but after this year, i did finally realise( yes i was that naive)  that as long as you put God as your focus, nothing will be able to put you down or shake your beliefs. It was a breakthrough year, but somehow i know that this breakthrough is still continuing and i cant wait to experience what God has in store for me in 2010, and in my future. 

Thank you to the people who have impacted my life in someway or another this year. God sent so many specific people this year to help deal with different areas in my life, and im glad that im given the time and free rein to finally invest in the lives of people who matter to me the most, people whom ive ignored or neglected in the past years. No new friends this year, so the deepening of old friendships were just so amazing,  and im so awed by the deeper friendships forged this year.


Here's wishing everyone a happy new year. Ive stopped believing in wishing for a good year where everything is smooth-sailing cause there's no way we can get a good year, but the perspectives gained through struggles and challenges in every new year will be the sweetest gain at the end.

<3 Sam

Its times like these that

1) God can manifest in the most extraordinary ways / people

2) God's divine intervention is so timely

3) I learn the importance of perseverance as opposed to giving up

4) I know i have to start pouring things out

5) I dont want melissa to leave, it just makes it harder to let her go


With so much emotional pain in the last few hours, God is the only one that i can turn to.
thank you mel, thank you dawn, and thank you God.

I shall make the effort, no matter how busy i am now.

Anw job orientation starting soon! Seriously........ where's the email the person promised me!?!? looks like fun and a whole new experience. Anw the past few days have been quite a whirlwind for me. When i look back and see the stuff that has happened in the past few days alone...i would have thought that i would be weary and burdered by it all, but somehow, it seems that God has been carrying me on his back through everything that has happened and i didnt feel much weariness. Instead i find joy and anticipation of the future, and all the hurtful words thrown at me has been nothing short of good ole advice. Without God, i would have most definitely take it to heart and bear grudges.

Met up with awesome people today, everyday's something like a new experience now, exciting and so much growing up this year. I cant wait to condense all my reflections of this year into one post (; 
Damn shouldnt have pangsehed playing hockey today. missing the old ac hockey times.

Now that dilys has brought up about her going to C-H-I-N-AAAAAA, it makes me want to hurry plan for my japan trip next year as well! AND
ITS OVER! i faced my fears and all the negative talk yes yes yes!

i really hope im trusting the right person this time!
whoo hoo thanks! (;

All i want to see is unity across the world together as one body of christ
and for this, i pray Lord that you'll empower me with the necessary,
to nudge me towards the plans you have for me.

<3

with this over until the next paper on dec 3 i feel so refreshed. im going to do things ive always wanted, to speak to pple about things i feel strongly about, a lot of spilling out of my mind. to clear all these thoughts and finally put them to action. no more building sandcastles in the air and having dreams without action. woots. time to spend with my loved ones, to start being more focused, and maybe next year's dreams will all come true, and it will be the bestest bestest experience ever.
hate my words, sounds a bit charlie chaplin

from this day on, im not going to let academics rule my life.
all the expectations should be lowered dramatically and i shall not conform to Singapore/ society's standards any longer.
wah this sense of liberation is like awesome.
i sense a new me coming soon.

Because of the many people who believed in me and supported my decision, i will go all out and do my very best for tomorrow and the days to follow.

sometimes i feel that my ministry in rangers, however interesting and fufiling, will never be able to reach its full potential because throughout this year i feel as if im being judged a little more than i can handle. I dont mean to post this but i thought its good to let everything out so that i can fully concentrate on my exams. I know that rangers prides itself on being a ministry on mentorship and discipleship but somehow i dont feel it. I know it takes two hands to clap, and on my part im trying my best to trust the leaders more so that they can know more about me. However, as much as im expected to do this for my kids, i somehow feel that im not getting enough support from those above me. Ive just started to come back to rangers this year, and with the leadership mantle being passed to me suddenly after so many years of inactivity, i find myself taking longer than expected to assimilate back into rangers culture. A lot of leaders have told me its going to be easy, just tell yourself u're doing it all for God and you can do it, and honestly, i was more than ready to tackle this problem. I was more than happy to come and serve in this wonderful ministry. But throughout the year, maybe its this nonchalance about me that prevents people from seeing my struggles and problems and it all ends up in me being misunderstood. I should have brought this up way earlier when i first felt the struggle, but I thought it was fine, i really thought it was. And another thing, i dont see why people cant just come up to me and ask me directly if they want to know something?!? Why limit yourself to one person's perspective when it could be more beneficial to all parties if another person's perspective was sought after? Matters would be clarified much earlier and there wouldnt be all these small talk. Sigh, i really dont want to do this but i just had to let everything out, pls dont second-guess me further. I hope you guys even know what i talkiing about if not this post would all go to waste sigh.  In fact i appreciate it a lot more if im being included in certain matters. Having said that, i still love you all, and to you, thank you very much.

 This is just insane, last night i woke up feeling so scared all of a sudden!?!?!? HAIIIIIIIIIIIII

and i want to get free smses, i bet im one of the few who are just wasting 5 cents per sms after the 500 limit is breached.

to go or not to go, and in the end i went to see dawn get water-baptised at her church. (: This is a girl whom ive not met in over a year and yet she invited me to witness her baptism, despite me being such the odd one out among her group of friends whom i seriously havent seen in school before. Guess i havent known the whole cohort yet huh, ahahahah okay kiddingzzzzzzz.
Clementi bible church, haha damn they have friendly pple there! We should learn from them seriously. but to each his own la right. Anw their pew is so cozy and comfy and i  was actually a bit overwhelmed seeing dawn after so long, i seriously missed her lots. ): I should have bought her flowers or smthg, felt so bad when everyone around was like treating her like a celeb with gifts and flowers. hahaha. felt so touched when she accompanied me after her baptism. but thats cause i was the odd one out and had no other friends i think! haha. By a twist of fate, i got to sit with her close friend in service and made a new friend whoo hoo another acsian, a few years older though. (: miss ac, sighhhhhhh. but i had to rush off at 1030, cause of cell. wanted to talk to dawn a lot more though. ): nvm, lets do the phuket trip soon alright!

and i got hell from my mum in the car. kudos to daddy the calm one to keep silent and not aggravate the situation. but im still terribly sorry i made them late for service ): see la, i need to stop being so selfish.
cell was queer, haha we went to peter's house to visit him cause he was injured, but he seemed to be able to walk though. hahaha. but anw thank God he's much better now. Wanted to skip youth service badly cause i alr attended dawn's service but decided to go ahead cause i wanted to see the new youth pastor and i had to return someone's thumb. haha and oh so thats him our new pastor....hahaha. I actually sense a whiff of exciting stuff to come for our youth whoo hoo. grabbed a much appreciated ride from marcus' parents and reached home in a blink of an eye! well not really, cause stupid cte had a jam. remind me not to ever drive to cte. i will die in a traffic jam i tell ya.

this is crazy, i havent posted such a post in a long while. hope u had fun reading! esp for those who are not my lj friends. (;
sigh, melliewellie,where art thou? I know you're having a lot of fun, but pls come back soon. hope korea doesnt clash with your coming home. Gabrielle's coming over to study with me tmr! (; i better clear up my table.
have a great day in sch poly kiddos. muahahaha.

Why does the week pass so fast!?! I wish time would slow now, i need all the time to make sure i get an awesome 2010. the exams are coming soon!
So, my ribcage hurts. probably no fats to protect the bones.

ive decided that cryptic posts should not be posted here. if ive got heartfelt stuff to say to my friends, i would do so face to face. Technology cannot be trusted.

Anw, plans have changed dramatically and now im actually going to Korea at the end of the year! Never imagined that. Rain, here i come! =)))

and i dont like your dog denice.

Just when i finally decide to visit facebook, it doesnt connect.
ugh ugh ugh

and please leti dont be so stressed, you will be fine...with me pushing you all the way (;

i think there's a lot for me to learn, a lot to make me grow up and be strong.

why was the nut in pain?

Because it was assorted! ( assaulted )

HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAH muttons rock

Watched this on HBO the other day,



And hope to live like him someday,

,

,


,



The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”
Christopher McCandless


Im such an idealist, but i would love to do this someday. And to read the book as well.

Have you ever done something so crazy, ever set out to make something happen for your life without waiting for the 'right moment'?

its the 14th of July.
not much time left